Archive for May, 2009

Pandorum

Posted in Trailers on May 28, 2009 by The DvS

Two things that make me worry about this sci-fi film that’s on it’s way. The first is it’s “brought to you by the producers of Resident Evil“. That’s chilling enough. The second is Dennis Quaid. Sorry, but after the pain that was The Day After Tomorrow, I find I struggle to watch Inner Space now. Almost similar to liking bananas, being violently sick after eating some and then blaming them for the rest of your life for making you violently sick, even though they probably didn’t.

One main thing that makes me excited for this sci-fi film that’s on it’s way. It look’s absolutely fucking AMAZING. I don’t even want to read about it. I’d like to be pleasantly surprised as a film like this hasn’t really been seen well since Event Horizon, and that made me all doughy eyed like I’d been staring at Elizabeth Banks all day. In fact, I’m going to watch this trailer, then stare at Elizabeth Banks all day. Adieu.

Iron Sky

Posted in News on May 25, 2009 by The Count

In 1944 a group of nazis escaped to the dark side of the moon… now they’re coming back!

IRON SKY was announced on our sister blog over at NBoN (link on side of page) a good year or so ago but word is a trailer has just been released… so I got all excited and started to type up this article. However after some serious googling it seems I was mistaken but atleast it gives us anotehr chance to talk about what has to be a BLAMMO tastic experience when the completed movie is released in 2010!

Website

Without a damned clue

Posted in News on May 19, 2009 by The Count


I don’t want to sound like a stuck record but I hated this idea from the moment I heard of its conception. I love Sherlock Holmes. The stories I loved, the Basil Rathbone films I loved and, especially, the Jermey Brett ITV televsion series (which pretty much got it exactly right).

This however sounded awful from the start. Guy Ritchie directing? Oh heck. Robert Downey Jnr as Holmes? I love him, he’s great, he’s totally wrong. It’s not that I mind people messing with the old stories at all (I loved the comedy version of Without a Clue starring Michael Caine and Sir Ben Kingsley) it’s just I think I’m still a little hurt from the messing up of other classics that have occured of late (Lucas and Spielberg I’m looking straight at you).

If nothing else this does give me the the opportunity to tell a joke:

Sherlock Holmes and Watson go camping together and wake up beneath a beautiful blanket of stars.

Sherlock asks “What does this tell you, old friend?”

“Well”, says Watson, “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe”. Pleased with himself he pauses and turns his head “Why do you ask? What does it tell you Holmes, old chap?”

Holmes turns towards his old friend and answers “Some fucker’s stolen our tent.”

Anyway here’s the trailer so you can see yourself if you think this is more Casino Royale or Johnny English:

Proof of Cinematic Hard Times

Posted in News on May 18, 2009 by The DvS


Originality is clearly dead in at least 90% of movieland, studios want to concentrate on killing your nostalgic childhood dreams, rebooting franchises less than eight years old, adapting any old comic book series that three or more executives have read for ten seconds and in some cases, murdering them (hello Spirit), and sequelling and prequelling the bejeezus out of anything. Yet there is always a vast awareness to pick up the next potential franchise or moneyspinner that will make a considerable profit in these cash strapped times. Obviously, the winning answer right now is:

MAKE A FILM BASED ON POPULAR BOARD GAME, BATTLESHIP.

Fuck off now. Seriously.

My Name Is Thor

Posted in News on May 18, 2009 by The DvS


Well, over the weekend (and annoyingly during Eurovision I might add!), the man who landed the job as Marvel‘s God of Thunder in Branagh’s upcoming interpretation is none other than Chris Hemsworth!

Who?

Having not seen Star Trek yet, this guy apparently played Kirk’s father in the opening scene, which must mean by first impressions that teenage pregnancies are running riot in the future. He was also in Australian daytime tv cackpot eyecandy soap, Home & Away. Eek. Let’s not knock that hard Aussie soap past though, it worked for Heath Ledger, Guy Pearce, Isla Fisher and errr…Craig McLachlan (Hey Mona is the greatest song of all time)! Whatever happened to those Neighbours twins anyway, they gave me filthy thoughts after school.

Anyway, if anyone knows what they’re doing, it’s Branagh and Marvel EIC, Joe Quesada often comments on his meetings with Branagh as nothing short of spectacular and that “he genuinely gets it” via his Twitter. He said that about Jon Favreau too, and that Iron Man fella didn’t do too badly.

Enclosing: Verily doth.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

Posted in News on May 15, 2009 by The Count

And on a lighter note. Nicholas Cage is making another movie!! *rolls about on the floor holding his stomach laughing* No really – this time he plays a sorcerer *more laughing* with Tropic Thunder’s Jay Barachul playing the Mickey Mouse role.

Oh and Monica Belluci is in it as an evil sorceress *laughing stops*

Empire.com reports:

Monica Bellucci has joined the cast of Jon Turtletaub’s The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, currently shooting in New York with Nicolas Cage as the titular magic-wielder and Jay Baruchel as his assistant.

Bellucci will play a sorceress called Veronica, the long-lost love of Cage’s Balthazar Blake. Some of you may remember the last time she played a sorceress, to quite terrifying effect in The Brothers Grimm, but hopefully this time she’ll play a character less fond of draining the life from young girls to keep her youthful looks.

The film, which also stars Alfred Molina, Toby Kebbell and Teresa Palmer, is due out next July.

Fallout 3 The Movie!

Posted in News on May 15, 2009 by The Count

No not really! THE ROAD is a post apocalyptic story written by No Country for Old Men’s Cormac Mcarthy and starring a wonderful list of actors including Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron, Robert Duvall and, the always excellent, Guy Pearce. Another plus comes from the fact it’s directed by John Hillcoat who directed Nick Cave’s The Propersition a few years back. This should certainly be one to keep your eye on.

Link to Trailer