A Roundup, if you will

Yeah, it’s been a busy time for everyone lately, working on films, sedating children during the holidays, it doesn’t leave a lot of free time to be awesome. Some might regale in this, making advances towards our wives whilst we’re engaged in pressing matters, or plundering our shares in the stock market. Maybe, just maybe, eating our jaffa cakes. I swear if I find you, and I will find you…

The world seemingly changed immensely in this time. Tell us, oh mighty Oracle, what have you seen? Make us look busy!

Gasp. I’m kind of torn by Ridley Scott actually signing for that Alien prequel. In a way to invigorate the franchise, I’d imagine we’re getting the story of how the aliens ended up tussling with that Space Jockey, also springing an idea of where they actually come from. Do I want that? No. Not really. I’d like my imagination to think of these things for me, and whilst everyone is arms-in-the-air-batshit-excited that Scott’s back on, we must remember that while a director’s style is celebrated, he has to best make use of the material he’s working with. This may go wrong as I feel that script ain’t gonna be up to much. I’d have offered an adaptation of the Dark Horse Comics two part Newt’s Tale at least. Ever read that? Amazing. Hey if Scott can do this, you think James Cameron could take his dick out of Avatar for long enough to come back to the Aliensverse?

Speaking of Avatar, look at poster goodness, and if you like that sort of thing, we wouldn’t hold it against you if you decided to get your rocks off to this with battery operated implements.

You can now apply for a job at Stark Industries. Here we go with another viral campaign! Wonder what it’s for?

Tron? Go on then.

Perhaps we should call this Speed Tronwachowski Matrix Racer instead. Daft Punk goes Disney too? Hmm. Michael Sheen’s the villain though. He’s rather good.

On the other hand, Wes Anderson’s The Fantastic Mr Fox appears to be one of the most sexy films of the year. LOOK AT IT.

Someone wants to bring back Jesus Christ Superstar to the big screen. There’s a feeling that as Mamma Mia did so well, you know it’s only fitting that JCS deserves the same treatment. Tha’s because Abba and The Messiah are key successes to the entertainment industry.

Miley Cyrus auditioned for a hopeful role as Batgirl in a full Batsuit. I’m guessing she was a bit late to the previous offering by Joel Schumacher as she was probably only just conceived, seeing as there’s not even a properly announced Batman 3.  Sorry guys, but I’d stop hoping for that Nolan/Montana team up anytime soon. Unless there’s a new villain called Duckfaced Bitch.

Excalibur, written by Warren Ellis. I just made a mess.

There’s also talk of that live action Akira floating around again. But it’s okay! I’ve called upon the finest voodoo hexxers to cause pestilence amongst all of their scrotums and mooseknuckles.

Here’s some more posters. Contest is to see if you can guess what they are…

We leave you with this imagining of how Ghostbusters would look if it was made in the fifties.

That will be all for now.

2 Responses to “A Roundup, if you will”

  1. GW Paperstacks Says:

    “On the other hand, Wes Anderson’s The Fantastic Mr Fox appears to be one of the most sexy films of the year” – Is this your admittance to being a furry?

  2. Your mother’s a furry.

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