The Surrogates

Based on one of the only graphic novels I haven’t read, The Surrogates is the latest vehicle for someone to throw beautiful wigs on Bruce Willis’ head. Of course, Bruce fights back, shunning all syrups and yelling “YOU WANT TO LIVE FREE, OR DIE HARD?” before unleashing clip after clip after clip of unrelenting bullet fury amongst the crew. No? Oh. It’s about humanity living as hermits and living their lives in the outside world through robots they control with their minds. But wait! Someone’s killing the robots. Bald Bruce then leaves the house, and finds out the true horrors of purchasing a pint of milk, and gets chased down by people who live only to sell incense sticks on the street. I could be stretching the truth a little, but one thing’s for sure, if these people don’t leave the house, then surely Bruce would look like Alan Moore.

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