Archive for September, 2009

Teasing a Nightmare

Posted in Trailers with tags , , , , on September 28, 2009 by The DvS

Whaddya know, the rather anticipated teaser trailer of the “SPITA Nightmare On Elm Street has surfaced online, in an attempt to get people rather excited and semi-hyped for it’s release. I got news for you, pal. I ain’t buying it.

Last I heard of this crazy idea, Jackie Earle Haley was cast as Freddy Krueger, and that the story would be detailing why Freddy was burned alive by the parents of the Elm Street children he’d murdered. Buzz word being “prequel“, and that the parents in this version would’ve blamed Krueger for these murders when he was actually innocent. Great! That captured a glimmer of hope from my purist heart for a moment. So far, on paper it’s got potential to stand out from the crowd of unclean remakes.

Then this happened.

What have you done!?!! What is this! This isn’t a reboot surely, and I can’t see Gus Van Sant’s name anywhere! Scene of Krueger’s hand coming through Nancy’s legs in the bath? That’s here. That’s a familiar looking bedroom scene. I’m sure that was in the original. Help me out if you can here, I’m having trouble spotting the things that are going to make this the “fresh spin” that was promised to the legions of fans. Why’s Krueger talking like The Grinch?

Discuss away. You might dig the trailer. I’m just a grumpy old horror fan, yearning for something that the original Elm Street gave me years ago. My jaw to drop with astonishment at how fucking cool it was. Oh, and Heather Langenkamp.

Things I Have Watched: A Quickfire Review Method

Posted in CATCH UP BLAMMO, Reviews on September 27, 2009 by The DvS

Alas, once again another blog gets neglected due to the impossible nature of life and what it throws at me. And this isn’t the place to air these woes! This is Blammo, and in my absence, I’ve watched a lot of shit! Some of it great too. So, in an effort to dip my toes into the water once more, and as The Count is soaring through Great Britain on two wheels (down the road on his new moto-byke), I’m going to throw short, simple reviews to cover a lot of ground. We begin with….


An absolute surprise. I had a lot of faith in this movie pre-release, the whole viral marketing was handled superbly well, and numerous watches of Alive In Joburg was enough to sell it. Settle down and watch the whole thing and it’ll blow you away. I guarantee you would not have expected half of the stuff covered in this movie. Well planned, well scripted and captivating enough to make this one of the best sci fi movies of all time. Prawns and cat food will never be the same again, and anything else I write is basically a spoiler. Watch. 5 Fik Yoo’s out of 5!

Continue reading

Bra Trek VI

Posted in News with tags , , , on September 25, 2009 by The Count

Best title yet?  Yeah I think so too!

Anyway good news for anyone who loved the JJ Abrahms‘s Star Trek movie but felt that just maybe there should be more green skinned slave girls we have some breaking news for you.

Just got this from Diora Baird‘s twitter:

Dear Trekkies, yes. I was cut out of Star Trek. Yes, in DVD version. Yes, I’m bitter.

Then later

Rephrase: I AM in the DVD version. Also in the gag reel. Look for the green girl who says balls into camera. Yup. High class all the way.

More high class top news from Blammo!


Posted in CATCH UP BLAMMO, Reviews on September 17, 2009 by The Count

Turbo review: If you’ve not yet seen it then go watch this now.

Slightly slower yet still faster than the chick with the stick in Thundercats review: Sitting somewhere between a Sergeo Leone piece, a Robert Rodriguez farce and a Tarantino pastiche The Good the Bad and the Weird (Joheunnom nabbeunnom isanghannom to give it it’s true title) is simply the most fun I’ve had with a movie since Death Proof.  It’s utterly ridiculous, effortlessly cool and stunningly photographed.

Kang-ho Song (last seen in the tremendous yet seemingly unseen by the majority of the universe, The Host) stars as The Weird, an outlaw with a mysterious past and a knack of getting himself in trouble.  Finding himself robbing a prize (a treasure map) way more valuable than he expects he goes out to seek the loot trailed by The Good (a bounty hunter), The Bad (an unstoppable assassin) and the entire Japanese army.

Unfortunately it does drag a little at the end of the second act where the spectacle becomes rather over explosive and stunt after stunt is thrown at the viewer (each amazing but, alas, your patience does begin to wear thin as you wish the plot would continue).

However it truly is another example of how the Korean film market is unstoppable at the moment with high quality genre pieces.  Utterly recommended.

4 out of 5


Posted in Trailers with tags , , , , on September 15, 2009 by The DvS

I covered this on NBoN aaaaages ago, and since that, it kind of slipped off the radar for a bit. Now a new trailer’s here and I don’t have to say anymore on this slice of awesome pie, other than hurry up and give this film to me NOW. You feel where I’m comin’ from, you jive mother*****r?! Kudos to Mr GW Paperstacks for the linkage.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “DynaMIIIITE!“, posted with vodpod

R.I.P. Patrick Swayze

Posted in News with tags , , , , , , on September 15, 2009 by The DvS

If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won’t walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can’t walk him, one of the others will help you, and you’ll both be nice. I want you to remember that it’s a job. It’s nothing personal.

Shaky Expendable

Posted in News, Trailers with tags , , , , , , , , on September 15, 2009 by The DvS

Hey! Shakycam trailer lovers! We have another treat for you, and you may not be able to see or hear anything like you’re supposed to, but when there’s so much testosterone floating about The Expendables, you best get some of the action as soon as it’s available, right? Some people just won’t care. These are people with nothing but Seagal films in their collections. Contrary to belief, that’s a fucking huge collection. Anyway, incoherent trailer time, be quick once more, before the Pull monsters seize control!