Cinematic Bastich

Years and years and years, the violent, no-brain, visceral, bloodthirsty comics fan (hello there) has waited for the announcement of something concrete in regards to a movie featuring DC‘s self appointed bounty hunting “Main Man”, Lobo. Today they got that announcement. Today, they also let off a steaming foghorn fart of a groan. Perhaps two, depending on who you are.

Fart #1: It’s directed by Guy Ritchie. I’m not bothered as much as I feel I should be, as he’s desiring to expand. But then, if Sherlock Holmes stinks (and it has it’s fair share of haters), it’s not going to look good for this.

Fart #2: A matter of it’s rating. It’s tipped to be a PG-13/12A which will push the envelope as far as it will go. Considering Lobo is associated with extreme violence, disembowelling and killing someone in more ways than there is written, this is a rather large matter!

The plot is supposedly the brief origins of Lobo, when he destroyed his home planet of Czarnia and then it shifts along to Lobo in search of four fugitives across the universe for a bounty, until he lands on earth and teams with a teenage girl to capture them. Perhaps learning an important life lesson at the end like He-Man and Orko used to do at the end of that cartoon.

Saturday morning Lobo cartoon to follow? Why not, he’s been done once.

3 Responses to “Cinematic Bastich”

  1. With Guy Ritchie directing it means there is only one logical casting choice…

    Jason Statham is Lobo!!!!

    And if Lobo is a PG-13 we all know who to blame…
    Zach Snyder

  2. Captain Hurf Says:

    A teenage girl, huh? Sure, why not? Maybe they can make it into a heartwarming tale of two people from entirely different backgrounds overcoming adversity, learning to work together to reach their goal.

    Maybe they’d call it something “touching” like oh God I can’t go on vom in mouth

  3. Ah’m a fackin CZAAAAARNIAN and you will fackin SHAHT IT.

    Yeah, little girl, giant violent alien, it’s hardly Leon really is it.

    Zac Efron as Lobo will be the next rumour.

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