Spider Gets More Chin

So, the news is floating about that YES, Spider Man 4 is going to happen. Whether you like it or not, you’re going to get more Raimi super-arachnid powers floating to the screen. Hey, it’s not all his fault the last one stunk of gazelle shit, most of the blame should fall on the writers too for being anally intruded by listening to the fans desire to murder and bastardise put Venom in it. That’s not for debate here. What we’re here to talk about is Bruce Campbell getting more screen time this time round! He recently stated that for this chapter, he will be cast in “a major role“. Naturally, cue the internet voices to speak up and say “HE’S GODDAMNED MYSTERIO, BITCHES“, following on from their disappointment in part three where he was a head waiter and not a deranged master of illusion.

Well, truth be told, I was going to leave it at that, with a few more funny quips here and there, but whilst searching for a picture of Mr Campbell for the purpose of this article, I made a startling discovery. Check this shit out and watch my patented DvS Predictotronic 217 go apeshit as I CAN TELL YOU THE FUTUUUUUUUUUUUUURE…..

Not really. My stab at this news is this. Look at picture.

Oh yeah, Spider Fans. I’m going there. Clueless people, hold your chins for a second as I predict Campbell will be…..

Kraven, The Hunter. Yeah, that’ll go perfect with your “Doctor Connors is definitely going to be The Lizard” theories. And it could work well. Lizard runs amok local campus, it just so happens a deranged hunter with a funny fur coat is nearby, thinking of catching this lizard and why there isn’t a glass or a beermat large enough to capture a Spider Man. Perfect. Get to shooting. Alright, it may not play out exactly like that, but my campaign for Bruce Kraven begins here!

One Response to “Spider Gets More Chin”

  1. I’m sold (though the only Kraven The Hunter story I know comes from Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends)!

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