Uni-Sol sounds like a cream for the rear

Remember back in June when I spoke of the new proposed Universal Soldier film? Yeah well, lethargics need just press this to be warped to the zone of June when it was posted. I’m also using the same picture from that post as, hey, lethargy rules, brother. Rock on.

Turns out my prediction was indeed wrong too, as this trailer suggests there’s going to be a lot of fighting and bad dialogue throughout. I sense a pattern in the series. After the official synopsis will be the trailer, and after that will be….some chicken? I’m hungry.

Words please!

With stolen top-secret technology, terrorists have created a next-generation Universal Soldier – an elite fighter genetically altered into a programmable killing machine. With this “UniSol” (Former UFC Heavyweight Champion Andrei “The Pit Bull” Arlovski) leading the way, they seize the crippled Chernobyl nuclear reactor, threatening to unleash a lethal radioactive cloud. The only one who can stop them is Luc Deveraux (Jean-Claude Van Damme), a UniSol who’s been decommissioned for years. Reactivated and retrained, Deveraux must make a full-out assault on the heavily armed fortress. But inside, he’ll discover not one but two of these virtually indestructible warriors. Andrew Scott (Dolph Lundgren), Deveraux’s vicious UniSol enemy from the original Universal Soldier, has been secretly reanimated and upgraded. Now, these elite fighters are locked, loaded and programmed to kill; and the fate of millions hinges on this high-action showdown.

3 Responses to “Uni-Sol sounds like a cream for the rear”

  1. Good to see that JCVD stopped messing about with his short career in making ‘good’ films and has returned to what we want: ‘shite’.

  2. The re-occuring themes of a bad JCVD film:

    1. He plays twins.
    2. He has a gratutious buttock scene*.
    3. He co-stars with a serious actor.
    4. There is no training montage.

    *Fortunately, so far, there has never been a JCVD film where he plays twins who display there rears at the same time.

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