Archive for the Bleeding Eyes Category

I want my eyes to bleed again…

Posted in A Retrosepctive, Bleeding Eyes, News with tags , , on November 26, 2010 by The DvS

I was just flicking through the internet, as you do, and stumbled across the sheer horror that I only managed to see once as a child, is being released on DVD for the first time in the UK. Yes, the kingdom united, December the 13th is a day to remember. It’s a day where you will remember my harsh warning when you walk into your local DVD emporium and see the (possibly overpriced) offending item on the shelf. I’m talking about the indescribable events that take place within the world of The Garbage Pail Kids.

The year is 1987. We’re all young little scamps, running around pretending we’re Street Hawks, Airwolves and Knight Riders (even the girls were at it), being tortured by our parent’s dodgy tastes in music when they were drunk (something about Disco Sheep haunts me to this day), and sorting through our collections of Garbage Pail Kids trading cards. How we loved them! A complete gross out parody of the cutesy Cabbage Patch Kids, there’s nothing we enjoyed more than taking our 375+ collection of cards with an overpowering essence of crappy chewing gum into the school yards and impressing others with our Eerie Ernie’s or our Adam Bomb’s.  Then we also discovered you get that essence on your clothes, you will reek all month no matter how hard you wash.

So, again, we go back to the days of how great the video shops were. Being at the age where what you’re collecting is suddenly a movie you had no idea was happening, and there it was right before your very eyes, it instantly demands your attention. Not necessarily your respect because you’re only ten or eleven years old, and making a Blammo is a long way off yet. Yet look, it’s trailer time! imagine this on the front end of your rented video of American Rabbit.

We’re all agreed then that looked bollocks? Great! Then please join me on December the 13th, for I’m going to resurrect the Bleeding Eyes segment, as this cannot be ignored. Windy Winston and Ali Gator are going to be nothing else but HILARIOUS. They were back then, because we really didn’t know better. Maybe that was the best state of mind to employ…

What is this please?

Posted in Bleeding Eyes, News, Previews with tags , , , on July 7, 2010 by The DvS

Hi there. Welcome life back to Blammo. It takes something like this to get us here.

This, is apparently a promo shot of Jason Mamoa as Conan. CONAN. Y’know, Conan? Big hulking Cimmerian barbarian? Arnie played him twice and near enough looked like he’d genuinely lay the hurt on. What the hell is this guy playing at? Cosplay Enthusiast Nominee 2010? Crom’s shitting in his mighty etheral wrathboots of the monkey.

I should reserve judgement, blah de blah, until I actually see it moving, but positive interest needs to happen first, and this airbrushed shot from last months “Be A Photoshop God” magazine ain’t doing a lot for me. Not even that strapped ham on his legs can raise an eyebrow.

See a bigger shot over at Geek Tyrant. And I mean it’s freakin huge.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror – Flocking Awful

Posted in Bleeding Eyes, Reviews, The Guest Spot, The Saviour of Blammo on April 24, 2010 by GW Paperstacks

David Gordon Green (Pineapple Express) once said of Kevin Smith that his success with Clerks hadn’t made getting into the industry any easier, but rather turned the indie film industry into a special Olympics. Birdemic takes that theory to the extreme, its not hard to imagine off the back of his huge internet following that director James Nguyen could be gifted a budget to make another movie and that is just wrong!

Birdemic: Shock & Terror is a truly awful movie that is missing basic movie making fundamentals and shouldn’t be watched by anyone.

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Weekend Injustice

Posted in Bleeding Eyes, Small Screen Blammo with tags , , on February 12, 2010 by The DvS

Friends and enemies, I’m getting married this weekend. This is of no concern to our readership (now 8 strong!) as most of them will be at the do. But for the remainder that’s not, I’m leaving you with a sensational gift to tide you over until I return with my bride. Some day you’ll thank me for it.

The Justice League Of America TV Movie!

It’s not often you get an opportunity to see “the most embarrassing take on super heroes ever created“. Those that do definately come away from the experience a changed individual. Even a cat changes. But hey, wardrobe really threw in some gusto with this! If you’re a fan of JLA at all, then you’ll hate this, with all of it’s complete inaccuracies. If you’re a fan of Miguel Ferrer, then you can erase this from his resume. If you think the character of Ice is really hot (ice…heat…messy puddle?), stick around for a while, but that costume does not get any shorter. Part the first is below…should you desire to watch more, then I’m sure you can follow your nose for the rest.

Safe bet says not even it’s foley operator would admit to working on this. Famous last words though….

Bleeding Eyes 2010: Marked for Death

Posted in Bleeding Eyes, CATCH UP BLAMMO with tags , on January 3, 2010 by The Count

Never seen this classic movie?  Want to make like you’ve seen it but can’t be bothered?  No problem then – read and refresh as I watch it for you:

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