Archive for the Reviews Category

Monsters: Lost in Transmutation

Posted in Indie Movies about nothing, Reviews, Teh Awesome, The Guest Spot with tags , on November 27, 2010 by GW Paperstacks

There is a long held opinion around the watercooler at the Blammo offices and it’s one of the few things we all agree on, Monster movies should deal with the struggle of a few people instead of tackling the big picture.

The average armchair viewer can’t feel empathy towards the military man who single-handedly destroys the alien threat, but they can draw some parallels with their own lifestyle if the hero of a monster movie is a fat bloke who’s trying to save himself. Cloverfield was a fine example of this theory in action. YES! A monster was attacking New York, but what the fuck were a bunch of rich kids from Brooklyn going to do about it? Nothing! Instead of following a story about how a space alien was delt with by the military we had a movie about how a bunch of friends saved a really hot girl and attempted to get evacuated like everyone else.

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I want my eyes to bleed again…

Posted in A Retrosepctive, Bleeding Eyes, News with tags , , on November 26, 2010 by The DvS

I was just flicking through the internet, as you do, and stumbled across the sheer horror that I only managed to see once as a child, is being released on DVD for the first time in the UK. Yes, the kingdom united, December the 13th is a day to remember. It’s a day where you will remember my harsh warning when you walk into your local DVD emporium and see the (possibly overpriced) offending item on the shelf. I’m talking about the indescribable events that take place within the world of The Garbage Pail Kids.

The year is 1987. We’re all young little scamps, running around pretending we’re Street Hawks, Airwolves and Knight Riders (even the girls were at it), being tortured by our parent’s dodgy tastes in music when they were drunk (something about Disco Sheep haunts me to this day), and sorting through our collections of Garbage Pail Kids trading cards. How we loved them! A complete gross out parody of the cutesy Cabbage Patch Kids, there’s nothing we enjoyed more than taking our 375+ collection of cards with an overpowering essence of crappy chewing gum into the school yards and impressing others with our Eerie Ernie’s or our Adam Bomb’s.  Then we also discovered you get that essence on your clothes, you will reek all month no matter how hard you wash.

So, again, we go back to the days of how great the video shops were. Being at the age where what you’re collecting is suddenly a movie you had no idea was happening, and there it was right before your very eyes, it instantly demands your attention. Not necessarily your respect because you’re only ten or eleven years old, and making a Blammo is a long way off yet. Yet look, it’s trailer time! imagine this on the front end of your rented video of American Rabbit.

We’re all agreed then that looked bollocks? Great! Then please join me on December the 13th, for I’m going to resurrect the Bleeding Eyes segment, as this cannot be ignored. Windy Winston and Ali Gator are going to be nothing else but HILARIOUS. They were back then, because we really didn’t know better. Maybe that was the best state of mind to employ…

Scott Pilgrim & The Blammo Adventure

Posted in Reviews, The Guest Spot, The Saviour of Blammo on September 15, 2010 by GW Paperstacks

Scott Pilgrim vs The World is the movie adaptation of a 6 part comic series by Bryan Lee O’Malley, which lets face it nobody had ever heard of before it was picked up by Edgar Wright and made into a movie! It stars Michael Cera as Scott Pilgrim who falls in love with a cute girl and has to battle her seven evil ex’s to win her heart… no really thats what it’s about.

Full disclosure before we kick off, I’m gay for Michael Cera (no homo). I’ve been reading a lot of comments recently (not on here obviously, we don’t get any comments aside from rants from butthurt assistant directors and drunks.) and I’ve noticed a trend I just didn’t see coming… You people hate Michael Cera! I don’t understand?! I’ve been a fan since he first explained what a “mayonegg” was in Arrested Development, I’ve seen most of his stuff since then and whist Year One was pretty much the worst movie I’ve ever seen,  I can’t really put the blame on Cera and it certianly wouldn’t stop me from enjoying any other Micahel Cera projects.

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Turbo Review Round Up

Posted in Reviews on September 6, 2010 by The Count

I’m so damned lazy that sometimes I struggle to even hit the auto spell correct button on a blog… never mind actually write stuff.

However The DVS is away moving house so in a moment of weakness I thought it best to do an article or something to keep the ball rolling or whatever.  However laziness dictates I have to keep it short and weak at best (so I don’t get asked to do anything more regular) so here’s a turbo review round up of the films I’ve seen over the last few months:

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Greenberg (Stiller, Baumbach, Murphy… HIPSTERTASTIC!)

Posted in Indie Movies about nothing, Reviews, The Guest Spot, The Saviour of Blammo on July 18, 2010 by GW Paperstacks

The king of twee indie movies is back! I of course refer to myself, as the number one consumer of the “side project” movie of famous acting stars. I’m an officianado of “that indie movie”, the movie you see the poster for but never think to download, rent or buy. I live for the low budget, deep thinking movie that has words like “whipsmart” and “thoughtful” accredited to them by hipster bloggers who don’t grasp english words like what I does.

Greenberg is Ben Stiller’s “side project” and if you’re being cynical about it, can also be credited as his “going serious” role. It does have a great deal more star status however; the screenplay is based on a story by Jennifer Jason Lee (who has a bit part in the movie) and adapted to screen by Noah Baumbach who wrote The Life Aquatic and Fantastic Mr Fox… which makes him a bonafide genius, right? The movie is also scored by James Murphy of LCD Soundsystem fame, one of my favourite bands. I’m pretty sure this movie was aimed directly at me!

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The Guest Spot: Predators

Posted in Reviews, The Guest Spot with tags , , , , , on July 12, 2010 by The DvS

Predators opened this weekend, and I didn’t get to go and see it due to animated green ogres intervening and stealing my kids for near ninety minutes. Thankfully, my longtime chum, JackDaMone, went along and offered his services to review it for the Blammo Massive. Why he didn’t offer to pay for my ticket is another story. I would’ve paid for my own hot dog and drink.  No that’s fine, take your wife, I’ll starve and be bored….

Anyway, this is his virgin opinion, so we’re popping his cherry. Off you go, son.

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The Human Centipede: Too many legs?

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , on June 17, 2010 by The DvS

Let’s face it, when The Human Centipede started to generate a buzz, I was right there awaiting it’s arrival. A genuinely disturbing movie about a deranged surgeon with a long standing desire to surgically connect humans together to create the film’s namesake was sounding like something I was going to remember for quite a while. Sadly, the final product left me sat on the fence, and I’ve watched this four times. What is it that I just watched! Continue reading