Archive for the Rumous Category

Brett Ratner confesses that he’s the Antichrist.

Posted in News, Rumous with tags , , , , , on October 12, 2009 by The Count

Following rumours that Bryan Singer may return to make the X-Men movies good again Brett Ratner has come out to show the world why people should thank him:

“You can’t make these people happy.  I’m kind of the Anti-Christ to these comic book geeks.  Every single person that wrote (sic) s**t went to see that movie multiple times because a movie doesn’t gross $200 something million unless people go to see it more than once.  Every single person who said, ‘I’m never seeing that movie,’ they were the first ones there. “What are they concerned about?  It’s out of the filmmaker’s hands.  A film is a collaborative effort.  How’s a person sitting at home going to worry about how a movie is going to turn out to be?  I just know one thing: mine outgrossed the other two by far.  Mine was the one that made the most narrative sense.  And I’m not knocking Bryan’s movie but he just does a certain thing;  Bryan uses his brain and I use my eye and my instincts more.  It’s a whole different approach to making a movie.  I’m not saying my movie wasn’t smart; I just wasn’t intellectualising it.  I was just looking at it as pure entertainment value which is what it was.”

“The most ridiculous statement I’ve read is – and of course I looked at the internet after the movie came out – that I buried the franchise.  If I buried the franchise how the f**k did they make a Wolverine (spin-off)? I mean, that’s ridiculous.  And they’re making three other f**king X-Men movies.  Mine kept the franchise alive!”

http://www.starpulse.com

Yeah nice work Ratner.  You sure convinced your critics – I reckon we should officially make you a godamned saint.

Spider Gets More Chin

Posted in News, Rumous with tags , , , , , , , , on September 14, 2009 by The DvS

So, the news is floating about that YES, Spider Man 4 is going to happen. Whether you like it or not, you’re going to get more Raimi super-arachnid powers floating to the screen. Hey, it’s not all his fault the last one stunk of gazelle shit, most of the blame should fall on the writers too for being anally intruded by listening to the fans desire to murder and bastardise put Venom in it. That’s not for debate here. What we’re here to talk about is Bruce Campbell getting more screen time this time round! He recently stated that for this chapter, he will be cast in “a major role“. Naturally, cue the internet voices to speak up and say “HE’S GODDAMNED MYSTERIO, BITCHES“, following on from their disappointment in part three where he was a head waiter and not a deranged master of illusion.

Well, truth be told, I was going to leave it at that, with a few more funny quips here and there, but whilst searching for a picture of Mr Campbell for the purpose of this article, I made a startling discovery. Check this shit out and watch my patented DvS Predictotronic 217 go apeshit as I CAN TELL YOU THE FUTUUUUUUUUUUUUURE…..

Not really. My stab at this news is this. Look at picture.

Oh yeah, Spider Fans. I’m going there. Clueless people, hold your chins for a second as I predict Campbell will be…..

Kraven, The Hunter. Yeah, that’ll go perfect with your “Doctor Connors is definitely going to be The Lizard” theories. And it could work well. Lizard runs amok local campus, it just so happens a deranged hunter with a funny fur coat is nearby, thinking of catching this lizard and why there isn’t a glass or a beermat large enough to capture a Spider Man. Perfect. Get to shooting. Alright, it may not play out exactly like that, but my campaign for Bruce Kraven begins here!

Halo I love you – won’t you tell me your name?

Posted in News, Rumous, Teh Awesome, Trailers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 10, 2009 by The Count

Okay this clip is for the new Halo game on the Xbox 360 (Halo ODST) and is an extended cut of the advert that was released on Monday. However, though this isn’t actually for the rumoured Dreamworks Halo movie, it is so damned amazing I can’t help but watch it with mouth wide is stunned silence. Then i watch it again.

If this is anywhere near the kind of quality the movie can promise then I think we may have somthing very, very special coming (oh yeah – and fuck Transformers).

Turn the sound right up, click on the link below and enjoy.

Halo 3: ODST Video Game, Full-Length Exclusive Trailer HD | Game Trailers & Videos | GameTrailers.com

EDIT:  Now embedded here in Standard def for those with slower connections:

Red Faced Sonja?

Posted in Rumous with tags , , , , , on September 9, 2009 by The Count

Ok this is kinda bizarre.  Either we here at BLAMMO have been incredibly misinformed or FOX NEWS are up to their old shenanigans.  They report:

At this time last year, Rose McGowan told us how excited she was to be kicking butt and working under the direction of her fiancé Robert Rodriguez in the she-devil comic book adaptation “Red Sonja”, but it turns out a serious injury has brought the production to a standstill.

Okay this is fishy for a few reasons.

1 – Rose McGowan stated she wasn’t doing the film on her Twitter.

2 – Robert Rodriguez reportedly had a falling out with the studio (they didn’t want her to star) and then reportedly had a fall out with McGowan over the first fall out and…

3 – Rodriguez was supposedly producing Red Sonja, not directing it.

So anyway yeah – apologies if we’re wrong on this one (we’re just as excited as anyone to hear this is actually in the process of being filmed)… but I’m rather sure we’re not.

If anyone has any further knowledge on this then leave a comment and we’ll report it and reference you.

Update:  Douglas Aarniokoski was the guy signed on to direct Red Sonja, not Robert Rodriguez.

Blob Zombie

Posted in News, Rumous with tags , , , on August 28, 2009 by The DvS

First thing I see this morning, is a little report from Variety, stating that Halloween revamper and erstwhile Psychoholic Slag (yes, I was a huge White Zombie fan and wanted to fit that in somewhere), Rob Zombie has been given the almighty permission to remake the Steve McQueen fifties sci fi romp, The Blob. Not content with continuing with something original again, eh chaps? Im not even going to begin with the WHYYYYYYY’s on this, and it’s already been remade once in 1988 (I had that and Critters on the same VHS, that must make me Video King) which was big business on twilight satellite television.

I’m pretty sure it’s yet another attempt to garner attention for Zombie’s upcoming Halloween II, something I’m really not bothered about as the first “re-imagining” was a tangy sauce made from the finest weak. And in all honesty, this quote is just a shitbomb.

“My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing — that’s the first thing I want to change. That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now.”

Riddle me this, When is a Blob, not a Blob? How the fuck are you supposed to add shape to something referred to as a blob? Look it up in a dictionary, I’m sure you get the result of “an indistinct or shapeless form or object [imitative]” Yet, I see it all now. It’ll take form alright. I’ll peg it down as not a big red blobby thing, but a big red T-1000. Yeah, why not, let’s have The Blob be a fucking shapeshifter. Nnnnng. Considering how Zombie spoke up in an in-depth interview recently and expressed his dislike for sequels and reboots (despite helming a reboot and a sequel to a reboot thus becoming a pot and calling that kettle black), this is, without a shadow of a doubt, a crock of shit.

Hey, remember that theme song? I do. I’ll dance, even if you won’t.

Fox Woman rumous

Posted in News, Rumous with tags , , , , , , , , on August 26, 2009 by The Count

Yeah well I couldn’t be bothered to think of a better pun as this is clearly untrue but anyways:

Megan Fox has signed up to play Catwoman in the next Batman movie. (The Sun.com)

Okay here we go again.

1)  No way would Chris Nolan cast someone with this calibre of (non) acting skills and

2) They haven’t even written the script yet so why would they start casting?

Then again, as mentioned on WWTDD.com, The Sun were the people that officially announced Eddie Murphy as The Riddler a few months ago so take what you like from this – for us it means we get to put up a pic for the Megan Fox fans out there who, I am certain, there are countless.

Regardless whether this is true or not (it isn’t) this will be rather bad news for Miley Cyrus who apparently was extremely keen to get this part.  Insert achey breaky heart pun here.

Thanks to GW Paperstacks for the story.

Enchanting Rumous

Posted in News, Rumous with tags , , , , , on August 26, 2009 by The DvS

It’s not breaking news in the slightest.  This is something thought up last night between the Blammo Gods and we’d like to share it with you.  It will fall nicely into our “Rumous” category, as either we’re starting one, or stealing a rumour that’s unbeknownst to us already been printed.  So, see that Diora Baird right?  Below, in your case.

Well, Diora has a Twitter page. One we follow religiously, because she’s in a secret shrine I have situated in the deepest part of my wardrobe a really beautiful woman and can easily lay a claim to being the funniest person on Twitter.  There’s another “lay” joke in there somewhere, but that’s for after hours.  Yet despite the hilarious vagina talk, she tweeted about a role she’d just auditioned for.  The role was for the Branagh helmed Thor movie, and the criteria was for “Pretty, but sturdy with muscle”. If you don’t know anything about Thor comics, thank heavens you have me here for I can only think of one character that matches her follow up comment of  “damn type casting“.  Might I introduce you to The Enchantress? Continue reading