Archive for the Asian Cinema Category

Kyonyo Dragon: Strippers versus Zombies

Posted in Asian Cinema, News, Trailers, World Cinema with tags , , , on April 20, 2010 by The DvS

Or if you tend to look at our last piece of news, you’d see this is the mighty Big Tits Zombie! Undeniably aimed at a distinct audience (us), we are now scraping through volcanic ash clouds to get this movie in our mitts and watch it. In cubicles. Far away from each other as we possibly can be.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Kyonyo Dragon: Strippers versus Zombies“, posted with vodpod

BIG TITS ZOMBIE in 3D

Posted in Asian Cinema, Previews, The Guest Spot, The Saviour of Blammo, World Cinema on April 17, 2010 by GW Paperstacks

If a film title defined how great a movie would be then this movie “Big Tits Zombie in3D” would be the greatest movie of all time! Sadly “Lesbian Vampire Killers” and the misleading “Young People Fucking” tell us that we shouldn’t get excited just yet and a genius title doesn’t guarantee a genius film… This press release however suggests genius.

Dear My Friends,

Are you already bored with the movies about girls in school uniforms swinging their weapons around? What? Ninja? Geisha girls? No, no, that’s all way too old fashioned. But the waiting is over as we present an incredibly Japanese style of movie. And look, if you’re bored with watching recent mass‐produced erotica and those grotesque movies, we are offering a new challenge, something awesome! Yes, 3D!

Our new movie is about pretty girls with big tits and zombies and it’s in 3D! It will be absolutely the best movie you have ever seen. No mistake. It’s a violent, action movie full of taboos. It’s up to you to watch it or not. Are you ready?

You’ll be convulsed with laughter at this previously unthinkable storyline brought to you by TMC&CONCEPT FILM CO, LTD. It’s based on the notorious comic book “Big Tits Dragon” which was banned from most stores. They said it would be impossible to put that story on the big screen but we did! And, as a special treat, our new movie “Big Tits Zombie” is in 3D (anaglyph method)! Yes, exactly as you imagine, big tits will pop up right in front of your face! Meanwhile, the hideous zombies will close in on and fight against the scantily‐dressed girls.

BIG TITS ZOMBIE in 3D!!!
Deadly DD‐Cups!!!
A bloody Armageddon has begun!

Rena Jodo (Sola Aoi) is a stripper who just got back from Mexico and she has been offered a gig at a hot spring resort. When she arrives, she finds a deserted country town. There’s hardly anyone in the audience at the strip club and all the other strippers, including Ginko (Risa Kasumi), Maria (Mari Sakurai), Nene (Tamayo) and Dana (Io Aikawa) are all bored stiff. They don’t know what to do with their time and they are on the verge of fighting each other.

When they decide to go down to the basement of the club to kill time, Maria finds a “Book of the Dead” near “the Well of the Spirit.” But who could have imagined the horror and panic that find would bring? Maria’s reading of the book out loud has somehow revived the dead and zombies start appearing all over the world attacking mankind. It’s Hell in the real world!

Dana and Nene are bitten by the zombies and they turn into living dead who attack Rena and Ginko. The poor big‐bosomed babes have no choice but to fight against Maria who now rules the zombies and tries to establish a kingdom of zombies. Rena and Ginko have to challenge Maria and the hordes of zombies! And how does the Blue Demon Devil (Minoru Torihada) fit in?

Charming Sola Aoi who has a splendid figure (bust: 35 inches/ waist: 23 inches/ Hip: 33 inches) is the star of the film. Sola has a baby face and a dynamite body. Her unbalanced attractions made her a big star in the world of adult videos and recently she started appearing in films and TV dramas. She is not only popular in Japan but also in other Asian countries, especially Taiwan, where she is nicknamed “Baby Face Big Tits.” Sola has been welcomed passionately every time she has visited Asian countries. In fact, so many fans and mass media rushed to the airport to see her that her arrival itself became headline news.

Stay tuned for more information I stole from better websites.

The Count Does the Naughties

Posted in A Retrosepctive, Asian Cinema, News, Reviews, Teh Awesome, Trailers, World Cinema on January 3, 2010 by The Count

A little late I know but here are my Top 5 movies of the last decade.  I did seriously consider not going for the stereotype and instead whacking a list of awesome trashy action flicks… but I realised that wouldn’t be honest.

So, for those who know me, this will be possibly rather obvious, I present to you my selection of 2000 – 2009:

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Woo – it’s a Red Cliff!

Posted in Asian Cinema, CATCH UP BLAMMO, Reviews, World Cinema with tags , , , , , , on December 16, 2009 by The Count

Oh John Woo.

Once the greatest Hong Kong director in decades churning out masterpieces like The Killer and Hard Boiled he was lured away to Hollywood where he thought international stardom would come.  It did of course, but at a cost.  Soon he discovered that the kind of violence shown in his works were tied by rules in the west and, add to that, a Chinese director making Chinese films in the style of American movies was a stroke of genius, a Chinese director making Amerinca movies in the style of American movies quite frankly proved to be shit.  With the exception of Face Off (no damn you it’s a work of art) he created flop after flop (with even the successful films being utterly embarrassing – MI:2 I’m looking at you) and it was no surprise when he packed his bags and returned home.

So Red Cliff eh?  What do we have here?  Well on first glance it seems like another visual and heart breaking stunner in the vein of Crouching Tiger, Hero or House of the Flying Daggers.  But whilst the afore mentioned films were poetic sombre and dream like this is… well… this is John fucking Woo baby!

Expect to see explosions, slow motion, people jumping from horses whilst (oh yes) firing their bow and arrows.  Expect to see some enjoyable plot twists an utterly evil bad guy (starting a war so he can seduce a for’s wife) and finally, expect to see a dual wielding hero.  DO NOT expect to see John Travolta or Nic Cage.

Unfortunately usual Woo cohort Chow Yun Fat dropped out in pre production (due to contractual disagreements with the suits) but was replaced by the always awesoem  Tony Leung and he plays the part with the same charm that you’d expect from the absent Hard Boiled star.

Red Cliff itself is a visual explosion.  Huge numbers of extras on screen reinforces its ‘epic’ intentions and the score and sound effects are sub bass woofer awesome.  The acting is top notch and, though the plot is complex (the western version of the film is two feature length parts combined into one) it’s consistently intriguing and the direction relentless.  However John Woo’s first Chinese film since 1992 falls just short of being a masterpiece.

Red Cliff is at times rather confusing.  Very similar names make large sections of conversation seem like we’re talking about one person to learn later we were discussing another.  The nature of battle, unless you’re having two men running at each other whilst sticking to the same side of the screen, is always a bit hard to follow and, as this makes up 70 percent of the movie and consists of tens of thousands of soldiers hacking at each other, Red Cliff’s epic battles often wash over you.

Regardless it’s hard not to love this film.  It’s both an ancient China epic and a John Woo movie… and even better – this crazy combination actually works.

4 out of 5

OUTRAGE as Beat returns to the Yakuza.

Posted in Asian Cinema, The Guest Spot, World Cinema on December 4, 2009 by GW Paperstacks

Imagine Jonathan Ross or Chris Evans or any television presenter with 20 years of hit television shows under their belt were also award winning actors who directed, wrote and even edited their own movies whilst managing a media empire and finding time for poetry, painting and even a bit of tapdance… Well that’s the phenomena that’s Beat Takeshi Kitano that is!

Kitano’s films have achieved huge success in Japan and despite them being in a moon language that most of us can’t understand they’ve also been well received internationally. His Yakuza based movies were made popular in the Western World thanks to numerous  mentions in the ultra-violent Asian cinema movement explosion of the 90’s. Movies like Sonatine, Boiling Point and Hana-Bi offered a gritty alternative to the flashy Hong Kong movies spearheaded by John Woo. Whilst Takeshi Kitano’s work didn’t have a high body count or any flocks of doves worth noting, the Yakuza series were far more mentally disturbing than their HK counterparts and the sparse violence was delivered with brutal bloody swiftness. Kitano even cashed in on the West’s love affair with him by Directing, Writing and starring in “Brother” the Los Angeles based tale of a fallen Yakuza boss caught up in a gang war on American soil, it was received well by most people who bothered to seek it out, but loathed by the Japanese movie purists (who ironically are mostly American) who saw it as selling out.

I give you all of this info because after a ten year hiatus from the gangster movie scene the first stills from his new Yakuza based movie “Outrage” has hit the internet. Quite frankly it’s not a great still, it could be from any Kitano movie and its barely worth commenting about but this really is exciting news to anyone who, like me, was introduced to Japanese cinema via Kitano’s Yakuza movies.