Stacks Movie Moments (reprise)

Bwahahaha! I’ve totally taken over Blammo this week! I’ve remembered a few clips that I’d missed, also Jay reminded me that the Eve & Wall-E space walk scene is beautiful and quite right he was too, however we had Wall-E already so I’ve not included that one. The DvS reminded me that “Me, Myself & Irene” was made in 2000, but there are very few good scenes online to post. I had a whole bunch of other clips suggestions, as did The DvS, but sadly we couldn’t find any decent quality youtube links so they’re sadly omitted from this post.

Stack’s greatest movie moments (2000-2009)

As hard as it was to make a 3 worst movies list, it has turned out to be even harder for me to think of my favourite movies! Maybe its again something to do with the way I absorb movies, I only half watching them whilst doing other things because I have the attention span of a small child. I can’t think of the “great” movies I’ve watched over the decade, only great moments in movies, so I figured, fuck it, thats actually way better than naming three top movies! I have taken the time to post the scenes as youtube clips making this article both entertaining and giving me enough time to distract you whilst I steal your Chrstmas presents

Stacks Movie Moments (Part 2)

WordPress doesn’t like too many links in on its posts, so here is the second half of this epic list. I say epic, it’s just stopping me from being bored this Boxing Day whilst all the presents we open appear to be broken.

Stack’s Movie Moments (The Last Part)

Again a small break so WordPress doesn’t have a shitfit. I must point out that these are in no order of preference and the lack of Tarantino is just because at some point we’re going to do a retrospect of his work from this Decade as its all gold.

Merry Xmas from these Blammo idiots

Look. It’s Christmas time, okay? Why are we even thinking of maintaining a site when the booze is flowing and the kids are playing…our dvd’s. Oi! Stop that, you evil charlatans! That’s my Basic Instinct and I would appreciate it if you didn’t keep skipping to the muff scene! Why I oughta…..

But from myself and the rest of the Blammo stalwarts, we wish you all a Merry Christmas! Ho bastard ho!

Pre-Xmas Argument

If you’re desperate to start an argument with someone during dinner at this seasonal time, then make sure they watch this trailer for the revamped Karate Kid and say how good it is. Honesty prevails here, this looks diabolically WANK. I like to use big bold capital letters to say something’s SHIT and when I do, you know within your souls that my words of it being GASH are true. Some of my family are reading this too. Hi guys. It’s a symptom I have called “Targetted Tourette’s“. I have no control over something like this being FESTERINGSTAGNANTCOCKWASHANDONIONBALLSTAINS.

Ill Thought Out Rants About Movies I Didn’t Like This Decade.

I’ve been asked to make a top three worst movie list and that may seem easy enough for most, but my viewing habits don’t really allow for “bad” movies, so there may be a problem!  The films I choose to watch are very specifically picked based on various guidelines that I have developed over 20 years or so of hating on mainstream cinema.  The self enforced guidelines start on the ridged foundations that most people use, “who made it“, “who’s in it” and, if it’s just a totally random movie, “why would I watch this“, “does this have zombies in it“ and lastly of course, “will I see some tits?”.  From this base guideline I will dismiss away the majority of the movies made in a year by process of elimination and I have no issue with having never watched movies that everyone will be talking about, I’ve never seen Top-Gun, probably never will and I don’t feel any less of a man for it!

Well with that said my list is either made through moments of weak judgement, betrayal by a former hero or through some sick self-inflicted sadomasochistic addiction to movies with the word “movie” at the end (or misinformed about it containing tits? Ed.).  Please feel free to comment if you feel slighted in any way.

The Count Counts Down 3 of the Worst

Now I know many both want and expect me to just post three Michael Bay or Brett Ratner movies and leave it like that but, though both Pearl Harbor and Transformers 2 came very close to being added to this list, they do (and I feel I’m betraying myself here) have slight redeeming qualities: the cinematography and effects are simply amazing.  Fucking terrible films yes… but not without some minor, unrelated to their director, qualities.

Also I’ve not chosen utter tripe that I watch on Zone Horror on a weekly basis (fuck you Day of the Dead 2) as I find it unfair to compare a movie made for a few grand with one that could possibly buy you a small country in the Caribbean. Nor have I mentioned Indiana Jones for raping movies in this decade in the way The Phantom Menace did in the last (not sure why that didn’t make the list actually)…

And so I’ve chosen films that really offended me on every level instead of just the ‘racist robots, stick a camera up Megan Fox’s vagina‘ type levels:

Ten years and all I got was this prestigious ranting platform

So, here we are, escaping the “Noughties” as they’ve been dubbed and ploughing headlong into the “Tenties“. Is that it? Tenties? And the challenge has been laid down to find three solitary pieces of crap that hit the screens in these ten years. Just three. This is so hard. In those ten years, my eyes have either been subjected to visions of  beauty, or horrific eyegougers that you wouldn’t wish to touch with your mother’s. But now, here for you, are my choices for Three Golden Brown Nuggets!

End of Decade Blammo!

Well in case you hadn’t noticed it’s been almost ten years since you got drunk to welcome in the Millennium, took implanted memories of Juliet Lewis having sex with you and fought off Gabriel Byrne (you think you’re bad? You’re a fucking choir boy compared to me!).

This of course means that it’s time to say good bye to the old and say hello to the new (I’m assuming time travel, life realistic virtual reality and space travel will be with us within a few months now so don’t expect Blammo to continue for too much longer…) and so to celebrate the first decade of the 2000s, which i refuse point blank to refer to as The Noughties, we here at BLAMMO are going to give you our Worst 3 Movies of the Decade this week, whilst offering our Best 5 Movies of the Decade in the following week before Christmas.  These will be from the individual writers so, as well as givinga g ood indication of their particular taste in film, will probably have much bantering within the comments sections.

Let us of course know what you think and, as I expect you’ll certainly agree with my points at least, send gifts to the usual address…